catching thoughts

there are many experiences in life that simply cant be expressed through words. they're better left to the natural course of our lives and the prayers that guide them.

its hard to explain a feeling. to catch a piece of it on paper is rare, but once it envelopes you, its crystal clear.

i thought about a mishmash of things today: achievement, expectations, failure, and in between it all: God. after contemplating for a while, I remembered one thing: that God loves us not for what we have to offer, but because we are family. and like good family, we love one another not because of achievement, but because we've walked life together.

like the mysterious and instantaneous bond between parent and child, so does God's love for us everlast.

i imagine love to be much like the same thing.

omg. rest during finals week.

so its about 4 am, my energy drink has worn off, and i've been studying econ forever, learning nothing. my final is in about 7 hours. ***(btw, i know nothing and i have 2 finals today back-to-back today. tomorrow i have 2 more back-to-back finals which means i have one of the CRAPPIEST finals schedules possible. yay.)

10 minutes ago, i felt like crap: hopeless and weary. and you know when you're really tired or weary, you need to talk to someone to motivate and comfort you right? well i really wanted to talk to someone but seeing as how everyone is a) sleeping or b)too busy studying, i felt out of luck.

i decided to start asking God for strength and comfort cause i'm pretty beat. these past 2 weeks have been really bad on my health and even my friends are starting to notice the army of white hairs owning my head. after i started praying (and singing), it strengthened me so much, and now i feel great and optimistic about my finals. :-) i promise. no drugs were involved.

"Come near to God, and he will come near to you!" James 4:8

my saviour does pottery

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sometimes I feel like I'm walking in circles when I'm chasing after God, always arriving back where i started: to simply be still and accept God's forgiveness and permission to fail.

sometimes i cant stand the thought of Jesus washing my feet as if i were some sort of king. my feet are far too soiled, far too stained from veering off the path that he paved.

but i guess that's exactly the type of guy he is. when we feel broken, he bends down to pick up the shards and doesn't mind getting his hands dirty because we are his passion. he sees something we cannot, the beauty in our brokenness. he doesn't mind the fact that we're messed up and spent because he knows that he is the potter, and that he can make any broken work into something new. he gathers the pieces and shapes them into a new creation, something beautiful filled the joy and pride of the potter. i want to be molded every day until i hear his breath in my ear.

"that's my child. i know him and with him, i am well pleased."


you and me, we're both children of God.