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I hate it when you realize that you've been checking your facebook for the past 3 hours with a big midterm coming up. Or when you realize that you've been playing video games all day while holding off on writing a paper. Or when you realize that you've been loitering with your friends in a parking lot late at night for 2 hours even though you have work really early the next day. Or when your checking account empties out because its easier to eat at a restaurant than buying groceries.
Maybe self-discipline isn't such a bad thing after all.
Instant gratification is promoted today more than ever. Fast-food that caters to our instant hunger, television that lets us change channels the instant we lose interest, and the list goes on... Though these things in themself aren't bad, the effects of their hyperconsumption run deep in who we are: we lose the steering wheel over our own lives and become slaves to our desires. When we cant stop telling lies to your parents, we become slaves. Or we cant stop sexualizing women (or men) in ways we know isn't how they should be treated, we become slaves. Or when we cant stop getting angry at people you dont like, we become slaves.
Its a dangerous thing to let these habits consume you because it feels terrible and makes youwish we were half the man you used to be.
When every part inside craves instant gratification, sometimes you just gotta let it die so you can live for once. Because you feel so much more alive when the desires dont have the control.
Its ironic how disciplining yourself is more self-love than overindulgence. the more you beat your body, the more it obeys you and the more you listen to the voice of reason. the better off you are.
Running has always been a romantic thing for me. It might sound crazy, but I love running though it hasnt always been that way. In jr high and high school, we'd run almost 12 miles a day. During our workouts, I thought that I was going to pass out. With each step, my head would flop against my shoulders and I wouldnt be able to feel my toes anymore. Just a solid rhythm of my ankles droning endlessly across the track. The strange thing is, when you stop running to catch your breath, it feels amazing. When you go home, you can take deeper breaths and you have more energy throughout the day. its amazing how the feeling of death is rewarded by a better quality of life. Momma knows best when she says "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger."
Starting workouts are the hardest part. The first week is brutal and you dont even start to feel results until after 3 weeks. And during those 3 weeks, fatigue is heavy and dominating. It really makes you wonder if its really worth it.
The catch to running is that if you don't run everyday, you lose your edge very quickly. even missing a day or two's workout can drastically affect your speed and endurance; you can feel it. you gotta keep running.
I still think that running requires extreme mental roughness. When your gut feels like its gonna burst and your throat is pasty with dry saliva and everything in your brain tells you to stop, you've got to have serious toughness to shut out that voice and keep going. another mile. another mile. another mile...
The fastest man in the world doesn't claim his glory as the fastest if he isnt the fastest. No, he trains hard - though it's painful - sacrificing time and other pleasures. Even as he grits his teeth, wheezing as he goes, his heart beats wildly but his eyes remain steady with one thing on his mind: winning.
Paul writes about life is like a race and how we win it by living righteously. We get strong by having the discipline and willpower to say 'no' when we must; to not be slaves to our carnal desire. He talks about how the prize is worth running for: spending eternity with a loving father.
"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
the love of discipline isnt masochistic, it is self-preserving.
So keep the faith. Rub some dirt in it and keep running.
