There are many things I want and many things I dont need. Knowing the difference is halfway to freedom. And I'm not just talking about the tangibles...
When I have kids, I want to love my children the same way my mom and dad love me.
You're a vegetable in the matrix when you're consumed by the grind, but the catch is that you don't know it; everyone needs a morpheus to unplug them.
I want to stay young and hungry at heart forever, even when the white hairs don't say so. I never want to lose sight of what is truly important.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Longings of the Human Heart
I have work in about three hours but I can't fall asleep. In fact, I spend about 30-50 minutes every night trying to fall asleep as I say to myself "man. what a waste of time."
but anyway...
"Achievement"- in my opinion - is one of the heaviest words in the English dictionary because it makes you ask yourself if you've done something good with your life. A lot of people spend years in velvety armchairs pondering the the measure of a 'good' life, but it seems redundant to do so because its not something that is understood in theory, but in practice. There's so much more to the ride than its physics: it's the thrill and adventure that makes it worth riding at all.
Somewhere in the humdrum of modern American mediocrity, the sweetness of that thrill is lost.
The domestication of the postmodern man's imagination leads sets off an alarm that asks whether there is more to life than earning it all just to leave it behind.
I like to believe that my life is a story filled with pages and snapshots of the people I've met, the places I've been, and the things I've been through. Maybe its out of a self-centeredness, but I lose sight of the fact that there are as many other stories as there are people in the world, each writing theirs furiously as I am mine. When I think about the hundreds of thousands of different stories out there being written, it makes me happy that everyone's life is meaningful but it also unsettles me because I realize that in many ways, mine isn't any schnazzier than someone else's. I begin to feel like just another number in the long string of equations before mine. Herein lies our struggle and life-long pursuit to do something "good" the life we've been given.
Most days I'll wake up early, gather my briefcase, work hard for the next 9 hours, come home, dance at the studio, play guitar/throw-in the occasional coffee shop gig, then eat a freakin awesome dinner and go to sleep. On the good days, I'll be pleased with myself. On the bad ones, I'll wish I were something better. Whichever way it plays out, the outcome is always the same. There comes a time in every man's life when he shuts his door to lay down and ask himself "what am I doing with my life?"
It looks so good on the outside. I'm blessed to have good health, friends who are there for me, a great education, a solid internship, and hobbies that excite me.
Here's the problem: the moment I put down my guitar I wonder to myself what would happen if I ever achieve legendary guitar-hero status. Even after the benefit concerts, the fame, the broken record sales, and charity events, would I have left an everlasting dent on the face of the Earth? Even when the most lurid dream becomes a reality, what's it worth if it's nothing more than than a memoir saying "I was here briefly" to be forgotten eventually, even if 1000 years down the road? I feel crushed. It is not cynicism, it just wont settle. There's something missing.
The human heart is programmed differently than the brain. The brain tells us we should be happy with our security, but the heart disagrees - it longs for more. And for that, perhaps the heart is the wiser organ.
We can believe that happiness is what life is about, but our hearts disagree. It will tell you there is more.
JESUS is the more you are looking for.
but anyway...
"Achievement"- in my opinion - is one of the heaviest words in the English dictionary because it makes you ask yourself if you've done something good with your life. A lot of people spend years in velvety armchairs pondering the the measure of a 'good' life, but it seems redundant to do so because its not something that is understood in theory, but in practice. There's so much more to the ride than its physics: it's the thrill and adventure that makes it worth riding at all.
Somewhere in the humdrum of modern American mediocrity, the sweetness of that thrill is lost.
The domestication of the postmodern man's imagination leads sets off an alarm that asks whether there is more to life than earning it all just to leave it behind.
I like to believe that my life is a story filled with pages and snapshots of the people I've met, the places I've been, and the things I've been through. Maybe its out of a self-centeredness, but I lose sight of the fact that there are as many other stories as there are people in the world, each writing theirs furiously as I am mine. When I think about the hundreds of thousands of different stories out there being written, it makes me happy that everyone's life is meaningful but it also unsettles me because I realize that in many ways, mine isn't any schnazzier than someone else's. I begin to feel like just another number in the long string of equations before mine. Herein lies our struggle and life-long pursuit to do something "good" the life we've been given.
Most days I'll wake up early, gather my briefcase, work hard for the next 9 hours, come home, dance at the studio, play guitar/throw-in the occasional coffee shop gig, then eat a freakin awesome dinner and go to sleep. On the good days, I'll be pleased with myself. On the bad ones, I'll wish I were something better. Whichever way it plays out, the outcome is always the same. There comes a time in every man's life when he shuts his door to lay down and ask himself "what am I doing with my life?"
It looks so good on the outside. I'm blessed to have good health, friends who are there for me, a great education, a solid internship, and hobbies that excite me.
Here's the problem: the moment I put down my guitar I wonder to myself what would happen if I ever achieve legendary guitar-hero status. Even after the benefit concerts, the fame, the broken record sales, and charity events, would I have left an everlasting dent on the face of the Earth? Even when the most lurid dream becomes a reality, what's it worth if it's nothing more than than a memoir saying "I was here briefly" to be forgotten eventually, even if 1000 years down the road? I feel crushed. It is not cynicism, it just wont settle. There's something missing.
The human heart is programmed differently than the brain. The brain tells us we should be happy with our security, but the heart disagrees - it longs for more. And for that, perhaps the heart is the wiser organ.
We can believe that happiness is what life is about, but our hearts disagree. It will tell you there is more.
JESUS is the more you are looking for.
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