a reason to trust

We need to demystify this use of the word "religion." Webster may define it as something filled with spirituality, but you and I both know what it means; the very mention of the word instantly triggers certain imagery: pews, temples, rituals, boring, conservatism, confusion, hypocrites, etc. My point is that the colloquial usage of the word "religion" is ironically mutated into a meaning devoid of spiritual substance and life (or at least, it is not the main focus of the term). instead, it is used to refer to a lifestyle or belief set which you can tailor to your likes (for which there are many "religions" to choose from). but since when does God serve man? no, God created man. not to be his slave, but to be his child. therefore, "religion" is an illusory term; it is used to refer to many beliefs in an effort to be politically correct when the essence of spirituality is that there is room for only one deity. the word "religion" has been robbed of its core 'raison d'etre': truth.

For that reason, i lose my "religion" in search of something real. less glitzy, no more hocus-pocus. I need something organic and alive and daily and relevant. Not for the sake of being different or even happy, but from the core of my being, I shut out the daily static from this hectic living and say confidently that I want to know God. I want to search him out.

I consider myself to be a deeply intellectually-guided person (don't laugh!), but I could not use those tools in my head to decipher something that was not made from the hands of man. I had to reach deep within my heart and use something that is a bit more embarrassing by logical standards, but still second-to-none when all else falls away: faith.

So how do I know that Jesus is the one? How is he trustworthy? my choice is not due to personal preferences. it is because when i call out to God, he responds in a way worthy of disbelief. It is almost as if he finds me...and thats the beauty of God whom I know and love: he responds and he never changes.

For a moment, forget all the Christian culture and icons associated with Jesus that casts him in an unrepresentative image. the world thinks that God doesn't exist because they don't see how the bible is relevant to the lives of Americans today. in fact, the world labels him and his followers as old-fashioned, conservative, close-minded, violent, bland, and unintelligent. But God doesn't have to be "trendy" to be justified as relevant. He doesn't change based on whether I worship him with a guitar or a Jewish harp in a modern church building or a Vietnamese hut. God is God. If you strip it all away, the problems of today are the same as yesterdays: greed, lust, selfishness, hatred, etc.

It's the same problem but in a different vessel. The universal stage and setting for mankind has only changed in appearance, but when you scratch the surface and read into the yearnings, celebration, and laments of our most human moments, its still the same. Culture is constantly changing. God is constantly constant. His authenticity is so great, that not even incessant droning of today's sometimes-crazy, flashy culture could drown out his relevance in every single one of our lives. He was here before hip hop. Before Caesar. Before language. Before life. And his message continues to resound today: He wants you to know who He is because He loves you and He'll let you pick what you want, but there will come a time when it will be too late to change your mind.

Therefore, i do not merely "believe" in God. I fellowship with Him. I fellowship with Him not because He appeases my needs or curiosity, but because I have a living ,breathing relationship with Him.

and there's no logic that can dismantle our relationship. boggle.

truth: square pegs werent made for round holes

I'm walking a fine line between entrusting to God what is not mine and taking responsibility over what is. often times, I get mixed up between the two.

specifically, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future job. its not the most comfortable subject to think about; not easy to find peace over. I panic because I need to be accepted (or so I've been taught). I've told myself that I need a great job not for the money, but so that I'll fit into society's mold. Sometimes I feel like I'm studying hard just to become a wallflower.


however, I'm finding something to sink my teeth into: because God is all-knowing, he knows what truly matters in life; He says its not about what others think about me, but what He thinks about me. and since I know He loves me no matter what (and everyone for that matter), i should just live to understand and delight in that one thing.

its not so much about I's or ME's or MYSELF's. its about US: me & him together.

It's sweet how God tells us very specifically not to worry about our future. its also interesting how the concept of having faith in something is devoid of worry and anxiety because they inherently clash. I dont think anyone can handle the pressures of life on their own philosophies- not without lying to themselves at least.

He's always redefining my needs with his truth.

"GOD! I need a job that pays good money!"
--"no, you need to know that I accept you just as you are"

In the end, we're all searching for the right things in the wrong place. we tried to find the necessary things like security, love, acceptance, hope, by chasing things like money, honor, applause, and knowledge. while those aren't necessarily bad things, they are worldly things that cant fill this divine hole in our hearts. from what i see, God is here not to spoil our fun, but to fill that spiritual hole by revealing redefining truths that points us to the place of inner peace: in his arms of love.

romantical thoughts...

if I wanted to be loved by a woman I would want to be loved for the same reason Christ loves me: because she knows me. and not for any of the ideas that I might (luckily) embody. don't you agree?


covered with my shine and shame, at the end of the day i want to meet a hug that has no reservation.

"a wife of noble character who can find? she is worth far more than rubies" (proverbs 31:10).

i also want to overcome my shallowness and wholeheartedly desire a woman worth more than jewels and not one that sparkles like one.

it is unfortunate, but for the best, that good men and women are often hidden by their looks. their inner beauty is concealed by their physical modesties. though they are diamonds in the rough they cry because they are overlooked and forgotten. but at the end of the day their tears will marry with joy because someone worthy will surely search the contents of the heart and find a great treasure: a love that is mutual, full, satisfied, joyful, and uplifting.

this is why Christ is second to none in capturing the hearts of men and women. he skips past our faces and gazes straight into the hearts and still loves us. i believe this is one of our heart's greatest desires (if not the greatest).

I'm pretty sure that's why God wants us to be people of genuinely holy character (and people with the wisdom to desire people of character). because he doesnt want anyone to get jipped. instead, "[he] came that [we] may have life and have it to the full" (john 10:10).

Isn't God awesome? he created our hearts to desire the best of love that comes from holy things like substance and not from lesser things like beauty.